Jesus replied, “Because you have so little faith. Truly I tell you, if you
have faith as small as a mustard seed, you can say to this mountain, ‘Move from here to there,’ and it will move. Nothing will be impossible for you.” (Matthew 17:19-21) I have heard these verses my whole life. I have sang songs about them. I have declared them in prayer and have had them spoken over me in worship services. I have seen mustard seeds and they are definitely small. Do I really have faith smaller than that??? We have been in the adoption process for exactly two and a half years. We have lost two referrals, had to re-do finger prints and home studies, and we have been waiting for the adoption judgement for our daughter for over two months now. Why won't this mountain move?! Over the past few months, I have battled so much discouragement and fear. Delays in our adoption process so far have resulted in disappointments and I don't think I can handle another one. Sometimes when you have experienced disappointment, it's a scary thought to trust again...to put your heart on the line...to have the faith to believe that it will all work out for your good.
In church last Sunday during praise and worship, I prayed "God, I know we all have a measure of faith given to us, but I pray for increase." Our pastor preached on "suddenly" moments in the bible. He spoke about Paul and Silas sitting in prison singing praises when suddenly a violent earthquake caused the prison doors to fly open (Acts 16:25-26). He talked about the woman with the issue of blood who had sought healing for twelve years. She saw Jesus and decided she would "try" again. At the hem of his garment, she was healed suddenly. (Mark 5:25-29). With every example our pastor gave, I could feel God answering my prayer. I could feel the courage that I needed to believe AGAIN. To believe that God was on my side...that God had a plan and purpose...that God is rarely early, never late, and always right on time. When God told Abraham to take the son that he had waited years for up on the mountain for sacrifice, He obeyed. He didn't know how God was going to work it all out, but he believed he would. As Abraham was walking on one side of the mountain, God was working on the unseen side of the mountain. When they reached the top and prepared for the sacrifice, suddenly a ram appeared. (Genesis 22:1-13)
Some of you reading this post are in the same position. You have a lot of unknowns. You have been waiting and waiting and waiting and waiting...But hang on because today could be your "suddenly". Last week, I realized that sometimes the mountain doesn't move. Sometimes we are called to climb. We are called to take a journey that sometimes feels rocky and steep and hard. God is with us the whole time waiting to reveal himself.
Today is our adoptive daughter's birthday. We wish so much that we could celebrate with her in our arms today. Though we are continents apart and it seems like there is a mountain of paperwork in our way, God is moving in the unseen on our behalf. I believe!
Beautiful post. I pray things start to move forward for you soon.
ReplyDeleteI don't know you. Someone shared your blog on a FB group that I am a part of. I love and long for these days, God moments like this one. When He brings strangers together who share a common and painful bond. We too have been in the adoption process for 2 and a half years. We sat on a waiting list for an Ethiopia adoption for a year without moving. We switched agencies and chose a waiting child from Uganda. We too saw a birthday go by as we waited for final paperwork and a court date. And we too had an adoption fall through. And losing that sweet boy was not the worst. We tried again. We too lost yet again. Brothers this time. And we too have questioned and talked about mustard seeds and mountains. But yet, we try again. Because we believe too that God has a purpose for all of this pain. But oh, it is so very hard. The frustrations and the questions are so overwhelming, sometimes I feel like I will suffocate under them. But you are right, sometimes the mountain doesn't move. And so we continue to climb. So even though we have never met, I feel close to you and will pray that you have the strength needed to finish this journey. We continually go the book of Job, particularly Job 42:2 which reminds us that "no plan of God's can be thwarted"! And by the way, I am from TN as well! :) Kelly Durfey
ReplyDeleteMy heart goes out to you. We've felt our hearts open to adoption and to the Congo for over a year, but we are yet unable to begin. I'm struggling with the question of "did I hear right?". The desire does not fade, but the financial obstacle remains. And as I look at that mountain, there are new mountains arising: two sons looking to attend another college in the fall, medical bills, rising costs all over. These questions are REALLY heavy because they threaten to unnerve you in your ability to trust that you hear from God....
ReplyDeleteI'm encouraged to hear that you are standing! Praying your mountain will move.
I’m sorry and know it is tough. If you or anyone else wants to get in touch with a network of parents who are lobbying for better policies in international adoption, please get in touch.
ReplyDelete-Katie
“Advocating for international adoption because kids belong in families, not orphanages.“
Children Deserve Families
Our help is essential not only for kids living in poorly developed countries of Africa. Unfortunately, there are orphans in Europe, who live on the verge of survival. Personally, I help orphans living in Ukraine. Here is the link https://hopenowusa.org if you are also interested.
ReplyDelete